Here I am... 30 weeks and going strong! well as strong as someone who is losing there mind can be. I went out side for the first time in about 7 weeks yesterday! It was amazing! Im only aloud out for 30 minutes a day but hey, in this crazy world that's at least something. Can anyone imagine not getting fresh air for 7 weeks? INSANE. By the end of this I will either be the strongest most patient person ever, or I will be insane. It could go either way at this point...
I also want to apologize if I haven't been much of a phone person lately. I know it seems to all of you that I have nothing but time on my hands to chat, but I am so mentally spent everyday just trying to get through the day that I really have got no strength for small talk... I am feeling incredible mental attacks the last few weeks. I rarely sleep and when I do i have horrible night mares. My room is right by the nurses station and they are so load at night that when I do fall asleep a get woken up every 10 minutes, along with being woken up (not exaggerating) about 7 times a night for checks by Doctors and nurses... OVER IT. So I am really just trying to get through each hour and honestly just don't have any energy to talk. But I love and miss you all and am soooo grateful for all the thoughts, prayers, packages, help with Luca, help with moving, diners and everything else we have been so blessed with.
The Doctors tell me 30 weeks is really great for someone in my condition. I am one of the very few and lucky ones that has made it this far. At 32 weeks the baby's brain is pretty much sealed so his chances of being perfect are about 90% or more! That's less than 2 weeks away! I think I can handle that. Unfortunately even at 34 weeks there's a 70% chance of him having to stay in the NICU for a month or so... Soo sad. Jimi and I took a tour of the NICU levels 2 and 3. the babies are so small it doesn't even seem real. One lil guy we saw was 30 weeks, 3 lbs, 13 inches and the nurse said that's a really good 30 weeker! Insane. His lil foot looked like one of Lucas dolls. Another one we saw was 35 weeks and he had IVs and breathing machines and was still sooo small. If anyone ever has extra time on their hands please pray for these lil fighters and their Mommys. It is such a scary place. It seems so unfair that God would let a lil baby be in that much pain the second they enter the world. I can only pray that my lil man will be one of the lucky ones that can go home soon after delivery. I mean God has done so many miracles why stop now right?
Everything else is still the same. I'm 30-2 today. If I make it to 34 they will induce me. At the moment he is head down and i can do it naturally which is so nice to hear. I DO NOT want a c-section. The last thing I need is to get out of here after 3 months and still not be able to hold Luca. So hopefully this kid will cooperate in one way and stay head down! I am having a shower on the 21st and that's exciting. Have some friends around and get all prepared for this lil guy to make his debut.
So Goal for now is making it 32 weeks. Thats March 22. Anything after that is just icing!